I was awake one moment, then i closed my eyes to blink and didn’t open them again.  I was sort of cast out, cast into my dreams and then froze there.  I was confused at first when i landed in my dream.  I normally remember being in them, but not getting into them in the beginning.  Is this the start of a new phase of my dreaming?

The odd thing too was that i wasn’t aware that my body was even tired.  It was more like i was pulled into sleep, and into this dream.  What would it mean if my dreams are more in control of my waking state than I am?  What if there is something out there that is in control of my dreams, and pulls or pushes me from them without my will.

I know that I don’t control the dreams, or the content.  I know that I might be seeing things that I remember, but don’t recall.  What if this is something that is happening too me, not from me.  What would that mean?  What exactly has this been, and how do i adapt.

I am wracking my brain, and trying to see if there is a thread.  Something that connects the themes of the dreams themselves.  Something from this room that is a common thing i can follow from dream to dream.  If there is some note or sound that happens over and over.  Would i recognize it?  Would i see it if it was there?  Is my memory good enough to catch out a theme, and follow it through months or years of distinct dreams?

I have been calling back and remembering things from other dreams.  Things about riding on trains.  Looking for people.  So much water, and so much blue and green.  I know if i stop, and really focus, i am sure i can find something.  This change seems like the dreams are becoming more firm.  Lately my dreams seem real, in a way they weren’t before.  Something has shifted, and made them more important than they were before.

I don’t know why, but it is harder to remember, harder to file away these memories.  Something about the dreams being real, makes the real seem more tenuous.  Like one is ascending, and the other pulling away.  It makes remembering these things so much harder, but so much more important as well.