I was walking this morning.  Walking around on the sidewalk.  So normal, just walking along.  It was cold out, and misty.  Not raining exactly, but not dry either.  Like tiny droplets that you can feel on your skin.  Not enough to feel like you are getting wet, but wet enough to know it isn’t dry.  The ground was foggy, and the air was so crisp.  So much sensory input.  How can someone process through all of this at the same time.  How many filters do we put into what we see.  How much into what we feel.  I know I was walking because my field of view was changing.  I know that much at least.

The thing I don’t understand is that I don’t seem to remember that my feet were on the ground.  I know they must have been, but I seemed to move with this steady force.  A gate that wasn’t a gate.  Like i had motion stabilization turned onto a video.  Everything seemed smooth in a way that seemed more and more normal to me, but I knew was wrong.  I can’t seem to understand why.  And why could i feel each bit of moisture touching my skin.  But only on my face.  The rest of my body was covered.  Everything was covered.  Just my face exposed to the air.

I know that I was moving, but my body seems to have forgotten what movement is.  What the feel of my feet on the ground is.  I don’t remember looking down while i walked, so how did i know i was on the sidewalk.  I guess i could see it in the distance and know as it disappeared before me, that I must have been moving towards it.

The trees, i wish i could put these into words.  Cold, and tired and sleeping trees.  No leaves really, or few left.  Framed by the light, and the fog.  The mist around them, and yet i can see them so clearly in my mind.  How is it that I can see them so clearly.  They don’t seem three dimensional, they seem to be some sort of cutout.  I remember looking at them, and walking, and looking again.  I almost thought I was trying to catch them turning on their access.  Like i would see these two dimensional frames pivoting on an center access.  Like a rendering of what trees were supposed to look like.  If i just turned my head quick enough I would see them.  Catch the edge of movement and know they weren’t really there.  I know i should have walked down and touched them.  Walked around them and seen.

Maybe i like this, this feeling of unreality.  Is that why I don’t make a move to prove this is a real image?  Or are these things stuck on a track, where I have these visions and they don’t let me move past them.  Where I am on as much of a track as a pre-recorded video.  And move along and view the scene as it passes.  I don’t know if that is even possible.

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