by ·Comments Off on Chill wind creeps in my flesh

It felt like the first day of winter today. I don’t know how I would know it was winter here. The seasons never change, and there aren’t windows in this room that I can see. Just the walls, and the décor. I can’t remember what the walls look like in here. The walls seem as warm, and the light as bright as it always has. As long as I can remember, the years and years I’ve been here, but it seems colder now. Something about how the air tastes. It has an edge to it, like the temperature is dropping by tiny increments. Something about the way the air feels is different now when I woke up from my dreams.

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by ·Comments Off on A hum of something

I woke up this morning? This evening, or this whatever. I woke up, and for the first few minutes I couldn’t remember what had woken me up so quickly. Normally, it is like walking out of a thick fog. The view around me comes in slowly, and fades more into view, than out. It seems normally like the things around me are fading into existence as I wake up. This time though, i was asleep one moment, and awake the next. The thing that woke me up was a small humming.

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by ·Comments Off on It aged down to bone

I feel like my mind is running in a fury. A speeding barrel rolling down a hill. The force of the speed trying to throw the staves off, at the same time the impact of each connection with the ground seeming to want to push the walls inside. The forces balanced so perfectly, nothing could move in either direction. The forces are balanced. How to explain what that means, what it feels like to have the push and pull of speed balanced out. One thing could go wrong, one moment faster or slower could destroy the balance so quickly. At the same time though, the balance is amazing. My mind seems to be running along between being unable to think clearly, and also seeing all of the things around me more cleanly than ever before. Like my voice is stuck in my head, but also, my thoughts are clear. I had a flashback to my first moments of remembering. How long ago that all seemed.

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by ·Comments Off on Shells locked on shells

I was at the ocean again. In the water, or at the edge of the water. I wasn’t sure where in the world i was. I wasn’t sure if this even was our world, but I knew it must be. None of my dreams are ever in places that don’t seem in some way real and whole. I don’t think even my strangest dreams seem to be unlinked to some form of reality. Even the ones that seem surreal and crazy, seem to be set and populated with real people, and real places. Just linked in someway to a fantastic setting that seems more of a movie set than real life.

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by ·Comments Off on Pulling in a single thread

 I’ve decided that i should at least try to move a single thread on this bed.  It has to be possible at least in theory.  I should be able to have my body pull on the thread.  It seems that there must be something wrong with my body. There must be right?  Or I would be able to move.  At least my fingers?  They are there right under the the sheets.  I can almost see them.  Continue reading

by ·Comments Off on Motion and sandstone

I found this floating full form in my mind.  It wasn’t in pieces, and it wasn’t something that showed up and i thought about.  I was awake, and there was this fragment sitting there.  Exactly like this, in my mind and frozen.  It didn’t have an ending, and I don’t know where it was from, and where it goes.  This seems like a fragment that was lodged into my mind, and floated there until it dislodged.

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by ·Comments Off on Running Waves

It was a joy. A joy of so much freedom last night. So much and so long since i have had dreams of water. So long without my dreams of waves, and water, and running. I couldn’t believe it. When i woke up in my dream, i was already moving. I remember the water was green, and blue. It felt like electricity, and life itself. I remember the moon was high in the sky, and I could almost feel the waves being pulled up.

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by ·Comments Off on Carried in a sack, the Buddha walked

I am piecing together what this world means.  I think i am at least.  I don’t know how to frame what I have found.  Lying here, in this bed.  I realized it a little the other day when the room had changed.  Now I can’t remember what the change was.  Maybe the color of the walls. Maybe the sheet?

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by ·Comments Off on The sun comes up and sundown comes too

I come here, and then I am gone.  The summer months come i think.  I can’t see out of the room, and I know that i have no way of knowing.  But at the same moment that I can’t know, i know with certainty.  I have seen the summer months roll past.  Roll into the dusk of this room.  I won’t be able to put all those moments behind me.

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by ·Comments Off on A shade field grows

I was awake one moment, then i closed my eyes to blink and didn’t open them again.  I was sort of cast out, cast into my dreams and then froze there.  I was confused at first when i landed in my dream.  I normally remember being in them, but not getting into them in the beginning.  Is this the start of a new phase of my dreaming?

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