I’ve decided that i should at least try to move a single thread on this bed. It has to be possible at least in theory. I should be able to have my body pull on the thread. It seems that there must be something wrong with my body. There must be right? Or I would be able to move. At least my fingers? They are there right under the the sheets. I can almost see them. Continue reading
Tag: hands
Refractory and splintered images
Something occurred to me this morning. At least i think it is morning. I can’t really tell anymore. I don’t have any windows, and the lights never change. Well I should say the brightness never changes, since I can’t see any lights. Everything just is this even whiteness that says florescent lights are somewhere here. However, from what I can see, I don’t see any bulbs. Or fixtures. It is like everything just is bright. Like the objects themselves emit light. Wait, this isn’t what occurred to me. I can’t remember if I have already talked about the light. Regardless, it isn’t what I was thinking about while i lay here this morning. Who is keeping me clean? I realized that my skin for what I can feel of it, seems smooth and polished. No rough edges, no dryness or cracked fingers. Nothing seems out of place. I don’t think i can smell myself, but I don’t have a good point of reference for what I would smell like. So it seems that someone must be cleaning me in some way. Someone must be here while I am dreaming and washing me right?
This makes me stop and think that there must be a crew in this place. I have never seen a cobweb in my view. I haven’t seen dust floating in the air. I never smell any food or anything living. Other than the single knock, I don’t feel like I have heard any sounds. No clocks, no feet in the hall, nothing human or even machine. Why can’t i hear the walls creaking, or the sounds of water flushing somewhere, or anything that would go with the sounds of a living building. It seems that there would be some sound or smell that would give away something. Could it be that all the maintenance happens while I am asleep? Maybe that is the answer.
Could it be that while I am dreaming a whole cast of people come out and take care of the conditioning of the building and my body. Maintain the building and dust and wash. I haven’t really thought about that, but maybe that explains the quiet. Maybe this isn’t the morning. Maybe I wake up at night, when the quiet of the place jarred me awake and makes me try to figure things out. Maybe my dreams are the lulling sleep of the movement of all the life in the building and when everyone is here, i am gone.
Back to my hands, that is what makes me feel like there is something to this, my hands are too smooth. The skin feels flawless. No roughness and no issues with my nails. Nothing to make me think that they aren’t well cared for and clean. But I know that I am not cleaning them, and I don’t remember the feeling of anyone washing my hands, or trimming my nails. Wouldn’t that wake me up from my sleep? Wouldn’t someone holding my hand while they cleaned it move me? Maybe the movement is so gentle that i don’t notice it as I dream my dreams.