by ·Comments Off on Handed stone, my dream shattered.

Someone passed me a rock as I slept. Someone reached out to me as I walked past them, dreaming of sidewalks and shops, and handed me something. I took it without thinking. So much of that happens outside of thought. I just respond, like running on rails, and not involved with what I am doing. I don’t know where is was, but I know that the sun was out, and there were people everywhere. An echo of times walking in the crowds that I don’t remember. But I was given a rock and I don’t know what i should do.

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by ·Comments Off on The shelf breaks free

I had a fragment of a nightmare last night. It was more of a ring of a nightmare, than a fragment. The same moment, happening, with a start and end point, looping over and over. I was awake and aware that I was having a dream. At the same time though, I wasn’t able to stop it or slow it down. I kept seeing a giant tree. Reaching up and out. A massive oak tree, with branches that reached out to the sides and down to the ground. The tree must have been hundreds of years old. The wood looked like it had turned to stone. The tree was massive where it went into the ground, and the roots had buckled up.

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by ·Comments Off on Chill wind creeps in my flesh

It felt like the first day of winter today. I don’t know how I would know it was winter here. The seasons never change, and there aren’t windows in this room that I can see. Just the walls, and the décor. I can’t remember what the walls look like in here. The walls seem as warm, and the light as bright as it always has. As long as I can remember, the years and years I’ve been here, but it seems colder now. Something about how the air tastes. It has an edge to it, like the temperature is dropping by tiny increments. Something about the way the air feels is different now when I woke up from my dreams.

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by ·Comments Off on Pushed apart and rebuilt

I fell asleep again. It was an odd sensation. The humming I have been hearing in my head, somewhere behind me, increased. Not in volume, but in vibration. Somehow, the frequency increased, like someone was strumming a wire, and had shortened the period between waves of the wire. It was faster, but not speed like how often. It was like pieces of sound were being shoved behind my head over and over. Normally, it fades into the background silence, but now it was so easy to here. I couldn’t help but notice it. It didn’t stay at the same pitch either. It varied and changed. The volume never went anywhere, but I could barely think of anything else.

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by ·Comments Off on Tincture and slow drip

It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like everything before it, and I don’t know what to do with it. I keep saying that it didn’t make sense, and it still doesn’t make sense. I want the sound to stop. It is slowly, creeping into my mind. The same songs, and the same sounds. Over and over it plays in my mind. It is a resonant noise, almost like a pipe organ being held down at a high note. Where you can hear the rush of the air over the valve in the pipe. The edges of current holding onto the metal inside. Just a slight breath of discord in the sound. Why won’t the note leave. Why is this the sound that I wake up to and fall back to sleep with? Where did the dream come from that brought this into my mind.

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by ·Comments Off on Pattern of Light

I was in a dark room with my eyes closed. I was holding them so tightly closed. I stood there for a long moment. Then i couldn’t remember why I had them closed so tightly in the first place. I tried wracking my mind for something to tell me why they were closed. Why am i standing here? Why am i standing? How long has it been, and how do i remember what it is like to stand up? There I was though, with my eyes closed in a dark room.

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by ·Comments Off on Sending everything somewhere

 I had another dream. I’m locked in bed in this room and in my mind still. I guess because I am having trouble telling where I am anymore.  My messages are getting garbled.  Like an old TV signal passing through trees and wind.  Something blocking the clarity of my mind and my dreams. Although my dream made me wonder if this is really a bed i am in. It seems like one in my mind. I can’t imagine it would be anything but a dream and a real bed.  I had a dream where I was talking to two people who were interviewing me to find out what was happening to me.  I don’t remember every part of the dream, or everything that they said.  That is what was also so strange about that dream.  I don’t normally forget the parts of a dream, or forget moments that I am seeing when i am asleep.  Only when I am awake do things seem to fall apart and get lost in the flow of moments.

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by ·Comments Off on Ticket Inside

Someone passed me a ticket. Someone reached out to me as I walked past them, and handed me something. I took it without thinking. So much of that happens outside of thought. Where I just respond. Like running on rails, and not involved with what I am doing. I don’t know where I was, or how i got there. I know that the sun was out, and there were people everywhere. An echo of times walking in the crowds that I don’t remember. But I was given a ticket, to somewhere inside.

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by ·Comments Off on Everything into the water

I can’t understand why the days seem so much longer now.  They seem to last weeks and months.  I fall asleep one moment, and the next it is morning.  I am sure though that huge chunks of time have passed while I am asleep.  I don’t know how i know.  There isn’t anything in this room to tell me, or anything in my body feeling that would clue me in.  I know though.  Like an internal clock starts up when I am awake, and I am shocked to read the date.  Something about it scares me.  Like my reality is falling apart. At the same time, i am excited.  I’m living more it seems away from this room.  Away from this place.  

 

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by ·Comments Off on The sound cuts out

This morning the sound cut out of my dreams. And that silence carried over into the room. The same room and the same bed. Over and over, morning after morning. I feel like i have been slipping into and out of these mornings for so long. Months and I haven’t had a memory I could remember. Nothing to cling to, until this morning. Then my dream went silent. My ears stopped, and then i woke up. The room was so quiet. Still and quiet, and the hum was gone. The buzzing of wires was gone. Just the air slowing in the room was left.

The dream was odd for me. Nothing i have had before that i could remember. Even the pieces of it don’t make sense when i look back on them and try to remember. I remember hovering balls, broken into these mechanical shapes of silver and orange. Diamonds of silver, and orange around the edges of the diamonds. Grey holes in the center of the diamond. Floating, with clear edges along the silver diamonds. It looked like a ball you could split on a seam.

The balls were hovering in the air. Hanging at different levels in the room around me. Floating at distances around me, and they all seemed both the exact same as each other, and different sizes. I know that they had to be either the same size, or different, but they were both at once. The single thing that I don’t understand is the feeling they gave me. It seemed to me that these were all cameras. Hovering cameras all around me. All the angles, and I was in the center of this storm of balls. And even though it seemed they were frantically moving, nothing was moving in the room. Except me, i was darting my eyes and body, trying to see and make sense of all this.

And there was a sound. A sound of a small drone hovering. Something like a mechanical bee, or wasp, floating up and down. The sounds were constant. Not a sound of a motor trying to maintain position, or rise. Just a steady hum of noise. The sound seemed to come from each ball, and from all around me. I couldn’t see anything moving though. No blades whirling around trying to hold the mechanical things steady. No air or dust blowing around. Just the sound.

Then suddenly, silence. Not a shutting down of the noise of the balls. But a silence like my auditory nerves were severed. Nothing at all was making any noise. My clothes were silent, and the balls seemed even more still. They were hovering before, and now they seemed frozen in place. How can things that aren’t moving, move less. Was the perception of movement actually my ear hearing the sound, and trying to figure it out?

Then i woke up. I woke up so confused, and for a moment i moved my eyes around the room. Looking for, and expecting to see, those mechanical things had followed me here. There was nothing though. Nothing was in the room except me. The room had gone still though. I was so confused from my dream that I didn’t understand at first what was going on. Then I realized that I couldn’t hear the sound of the wires below my head. They were gone completely. Just shut off.

I don’t know what they were doing before. The noises didn’t seem to power anything that I could see. I’m waiting now to see what changes with the power cut off. If the power is cut off, what shut it down? What does that mean for me here? Is something in this room now drawing down power, or without it at all?