My mind keeps going into itself.  I keep returning to these same thoughts over and over.  Like a note that keeps playing in my mind.  Everything i do to distract myself from this thought seems to end up pulling me back.  So maybe that is something.  Is this what i am supposed to think about?  Will it stay in my mind until i have looked at it from every angle?  Smoothed out the rough edges and sanded it down to a sphere?

The thought in my mind is the space between cells. Like any random two cells in my body.  My body laying here is still moving.  Jostling around and around at a level i can’t see or perceive.  Somewhere below my eye level, everything in my body is recycled and turned over.  Moving each other aside as the old is swept away.  How many times have i recycled myself while i am laying here.  How many new me have been here after the old me has been eaten by the new.  Absorbed into the me that I am now.

That is a thought for another day though.  Now i am thinking of a single cell.  Maybe a skin cell, buried deep under the layers and layers of dying skin.  Dividing and splitting.  But what about the cells above those?  What are they doing?  If you could look at the cell, and focus in, it is alive and active, but so small and focused on one small area of one small body in one small part of the world.  It is no less alive, but also it is no less connected to everything around it.



So if it is connected, and attached to the cells next to it.  What is that like?  Does the movement feel like anything to it as it is slowly shoved up and out away from where it split off?  What does the motion look like on the level of a single cell?  How does the stress of motion move the walls that hold all of the information inside affect it?  How does it hold onto the partners next to it, and above it. I know that the cell can’t think, and isn’t aware of much at all that we would recognize as aware.  It is a single cell, it has only the most basic of drives.  It needs nourishment the same as everything else.  Energy and base materials to continue itself.  The environment has to be correct to sustain it.  The ability to fight off invaders and keep itself whole.

But the thing that makes my mind spin is what motion would look like and feel like at that level.  What does moving feel like to a cell on my arm when my arm doesn’t move?  What does the cell look like when any of the different things that normally happen every day happen?  Is there a flexing and bending of the shape?  Is it squeezed thinner or fatter by the pressure of the neighboring cells?  What motion does it sense because of its microscopic size that is imperceptible to me.

Today i can’t shake that thought, it runs and runs in my brain.  I need to free myself from this, and think of other things.  It seems like there is no way to know, or to see it for myself in a way that will make it clear.  Why is this on my mind?